High Functioning Hub

For all of my life, I have been relentlessly called a pessimist. Often because I have complaints about very real issues in our society, that I can’t help but ponder when I get some down time. Whether it’s the housing market, or the newest war somewhere, there is a lot of problems currently plaguing the world. I will admit, I do recently believe that I fall more on the pessimist side of things, because I’ll find myself thinking, “How on earth do people live fulfilling lives with all that’s wrong in the world?” While I still believe that thought is warranted, I also acknowledge that a happy or fulfilling life is still possible for anyone, and it truly is all about mindset. Now before you click off, I’m not saying that “as long as you think happy thoughts, you’ll be happy.” For a number of reasons, this does not work for, I believe, a majority of people. It’s the whole “mind over matter” prospect that I have some serious issues with, because I can’t suddenly stop thinking about something, or change a world view that I’ve had for nearly all my life. The whole “glass half whatever” metaphor always upsets me, because how could I care about how much water is in the cup, when the whole house is on fire? Positivity is not the end all be all that most wellness influencers believe it is. No amount of happy thoughts will fill your belly, pay your rent, stop wars in far off countries, stop your neighbor from beating their significant other, etc. So yeah, the world does kinda suck, and probably has for a while, and probably will continue for some time. Does this mean your, or my, life has to suck as well? Simple answer is no, but I am of the belief that just because something is simple, does not make it easy.

There are many things in this world that can inspire hope, joy, peace (inner and outer), love, all the generally held “good feelings”, though they are often not at the forefront of our lives because problems tend to push their way to the front, demanding to be solved. Now I don’t know about you, but I can’t solve world hunger or end homelessness. As horrible as it is to say, I’m hardly a step away from being starving and homeless myself. It does pain me to prioritize myself, and actively avoid helping others, because who likes to stare somebody in the face and tell them you cannot buy them a simple convenience store food item, because your budget is stretched to the max this week already. Though that sort of thing has become commonplace in today’s society, it still pains me every time I turn someone away, also because I’m an incredibly socially awkward person and have no idea the “right yet kind” way to reject these people. My therapist recently brought up two mindfulness topics, grounding and anchoring. To be completely fair, I’ve never subscribed to the Mindfulness techniques in therapy settings, because my brain actively rejects them, they feel uncomfortable, wasteful, and useless. Though these techniques are designed to bring someone into the “current moment” by drawing their perception into the time and place they currently are. Whether it’s describing how your feet feel on the floor, the colors of the potted plant on the window sill, or even the texture of the walls or ceiling. These techniques are supposed to bring one’s mind out of the ruminating doom spiral that is, at least my own, current everyday thought process when things get “quiet”. It’s scrolling on social media, analyzing the idea that I’ll never be able to retire or own a home, contemplating why yet again, people are vilifying others based on things out of their control.

There is definetly a lot of things wrong with the world, you and I are not crazy for thinking so. Though we do not have to make it our entire world’s view. Yes, much easier said than done, believe me I know. You can’t walk past a pile of rotting, old garbage and “smell the roses”. I’m not asking you to. The truths of this world, both dispair and joy, can exist simultaneously. Something I’ve been using as a mantra of sorts lately is “Today doesn’t have to be good, but it also doesn’t have to be cruel.” In repeating that to myself when my mind begins to wander towards the dirty dishes, or the latest news on the television, it reminds me that it’s okay the world sucks. Like I said, the world has sucked for a long, long time, and will continue to suck, probably well past I’m dead and gone. While that in itself is pretty awful and depressing, I don’t have to be cruel to myself because of it. I can light a scented candle and relax, get the dishes done tomorrow. I can say good morning to a stranger while I’m getting my coffee. I can be kind to myself as well, especially because the “world” won’t do it for me. So that whole “find the little joys in life” thing isn’t totally wrong, it’s not right either. No amount of comfort will pull you from the depths of depression. But like Ying and Yang, these two things can exist together. Even if you can’t ever achieve balance with the awfulness of the world, you can at least attempt to lighten your own pain by enjoying whatever you can. Of course, working on the guilt that, at least I, feel from these sort of activities is an entire different story, that hopefully one day I’ll be able to write about. The world is gonna suck, don’t let it suck the life out of you without a fight.